Meet America’s Newest Red State: Britain

Who’s Bananas Enough To Want To Be…Ron DeSantis’s Florida? Brexit Britain

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Hold on, I’m about to make you choke on your coffee. Imagine I told you that there’s a country in the world which just rolled out the red carpet for…Ron DeSantis. Ron DeSantis — one of the most odious figures in American politics. A man who…threatens kids…bans books…bans classes…criminalizes parents, teachers, professors, journalists…makes saying the word “gay” against the law. Who’s on a personal vendetta against Disney…because, hey, Disney doesn’t believe that gay people shouldn’t exist, since, I guess kids should only be part of the Hitlerjugend.

Which country is that, you might wonder, frowning in astonished amusement? North Korea? Saudi Arabia? No, maybe it’s…Russia? You’d be wrong, thrice. That country, my friends…is Britain.

This is how far Britain’s fallen. It rolls out the red carpet for America’s worst demagogue. No wonder when Rishi Sunak, the PM, after months of begging, finally met Joe Biden — for, LOL, a five minute coffee…Biden wouldn’t even look him in the eyes. Son, what the hell have you done to your country? What is even going on over there?

But that’s hardly even the beginning. 

In Britain, there’s a lady called Kemi. Kemi Badenoch. She’s a senior politician, in the government, but I’m not going to tell what, exactly, because, well, that’s the punch line, or the nightmare, or the scandalous farce, but you can judge that part. Now. Back to that red carpet.

In an interview with the Sunday Telegraph, DeSantis said Badenoch had offered her support for his “war on woke”, which has included a bitter legal battle with Disney after the company questioned a Florida law aimed at limiting discussion of homosexuality and gender in schools.

DeSantis said: “She complimented what we are doing in Florida. She committed that it is what they are trying to do in Britain.”

“It is what they are trying to do in Britain.”

OK. I hope you’re ready for the punchline. So, who is Kemi? Some minor-league junior undersecretary? 

Nope, she’s the Minister for Women and Equalities.

If that didn’t make you shudder, let me give it some more context.

DeSantis won a landslide re-election to the governorship last year and describes his state as “where woke goes to die”. 

Sounds nice as a soundbite, maybe, until you realize this includes all the oh-so-fascist-it-hurts stuff above. Banning books? The word gay? Criminalizing teachers? Normalizing things like neighbor informing neighbor because, hey, that kid dresses differently? Don’t kid yourself, this is profoundly dangerous.

DeSantis’s agenda has become a model for the American right. By now? Almost 10% of American kids face book bans. I recently calculated that the other day, and it startled even me, because it’s only been a couple of years since this frenzy really erupted. Meanwhile, kids who are different are being attacked in every imagine way — by grown adults, who think that calling them by the names they choose is the equivalent of Stalin’s famines. 

What is even happening here? Well, this is just how fascism begins. Nazism, the kind that spread across the Islamic world, the kind rising in India, and on and on. People who aren’t part of the mission to spread the bloodline of the genetically pure and true of faith? They become enemies of the people. Their existence quickly becomes illegal, erased, cracked down on. Attacks on women? Kids? The LGBTQ? Don’t kid yourself. It’s one of the loudest warning signs there is that you’re dealing with genuine fascism, because, honestly, who else even cares? That some kid wants to be called a certain name, or wear a dress, or read a book? That a gay couple’s walking down the street hand-in-hand, perfectly peacefully, but hey, that’s somehow an existential threat to the purity of the rest of us?

But all this? It’s spreading across America like wildfire. Like a great megafire of hate, scorching state after state. Only now? It’s not just America. Now, it’s Britain. But that’s…dire…in a way that maybe you haven’t really thought about.

You see, the thing is this. Ron DeSantis? He’s just the governor of Florida. One American state. But much of the government of Britain…the representatives of the whole country…is now…his Number One Fan.

Think about how utterly, jaw-droppingly, mind-shatteringly insane this fact is: Britain’s Minister for Women and Equalities says, out loud, that Ron DeSantis’s Florida is what they’re trying to do in Britain. The Minister for Women and Equalities. This is like when Australia, LOL, had a climate change denier for Prime Minister…while it was scorched by continent-scale megafires. It’s so Orwellian, so mind-boggling, only one word really does it justice: farce.

Everyone meet America’s newest Red State. Britain.

Brits have gone a little bit bonkers over the last decade. So much so, that even the New York Times is shocked, and that’s a little like getting the Dalai Lama to call you an idiot. But this is…something else.

If you’re British, you had better stop for a moment and think right now. About all the above. It is a big, big deal, and seriously troubling, when one of your most senior politicians is praising a state known for taking rights away from people to such a degree it’s become a punchline even in America.

Who in the world wants to…copy…Florida? Pause for a moment to take in the insanity of all this, and it’s hard to even really make it clear, so let me try by way of contrast. Imagine that…Canada…rolled out the red carpet for Ron DeSantis. Who then proceeded to meet with its Minister for Women and Equalities, and she then announced that Canada was such a fan of Florida, it was going to start a “war on woke” just like it, meaning everything from book bans to gentle Canadians not being able to say the word gay. Can you even…imagine that? Let’s try again. Imagine that France did it. Germany. Hard to do, right?

This is how far Britain’s fallen.